It’s been a rollercoaster of a fortnight, with positives and negatives flying round like crazy fireflies, colliding with each other every day until my head is spinning. I’m still waiting for news about my gorgeous Mia. When we took her in a few days after my post on the 16th, it appeared the growth has shrunk (overjoyed), so she was booked in for an op to whip it out (nervous), which was stopped at the initial x-ray stage due to clouding evident on her lungs and more small growths on her shaved tummy (devastated). So, we’re in limbo waiting for results whilst she revels in an outpouring of love, cuddles, extra bed space and gourmet dinners.
She’s never been more vocal, chatting away , sleeping in my office and generally shadowing my every move, it’s breaking my heart. But every time my heart breaks a little, it’s glued back together by all the lovely, lovely messages from friends old and new, ones who’ve been a constant for twenty years and ones who’ve been discovered during my relatively recent embracing of the Twitter revolution. Even clients and business contacts. It’s been quite moving to see how much we Brits love our pets and the absolute acceptance of my fragile state due to, well, what some would see as just a cat.
I’ve tried to rationalise why I feel so lost at the thought of losing her and have come to the conclusion it’s because she’s been such a constant for fourteen years, sharing every house move (eleven!) and every disaster – both hers and mine. She’s been covered in blue gloss, trapped under a fence and almost frozen to death, trapped in a coal bunker, stuck in a car engine…. it’s no wonder she ventures no further than 2m from the back door. I won’t go into my personal disasters, suffice to say she is always there next to me when I fall asleep and then when I open my eyes again. Men come and go, cats stay loyal 🙂 Joking, Mr M, joking.
As I haven’t had kids, I guess she’s the one who gets my unconditional love and from whom it’s sent right back to me. I’ve never really thought about it before in those terms, does it sounds a bit sad and ‘old lady in a cottage’ like? I love Mr M’s boys, I love my nieces and nephew, but they ‘belong’ to other people, they aren’t ‘mine’, and Mia is ‘mine’. Our society has moved away from sharing children like we used to, do you know what I mean, when anyone else’s mum or dad could take responsibility for you and tell you off / look after you / feed you and it was considered ok, it wasn’t considered to be encroaching on their parental patch? Digressing a bit, it seems to me that people ‘own’ children now, they are ‘theirs’ in the sense that it’s a no-no for an adult who isn’t the child’s parent to give any sort of guidance, chastise, or ‘parent’. And I think that’s a great shame, but maybe I would, cause I don’t have ’em!
For us humans, acceptance and unconditional love is so important and pets just love you don’t they, whether you’re in a good or bad mood, whether you have time for them that day or you don’t, their loyalty remains unchanged. In the same vein, if you find you have a friend, relative or partner who you can describe in the same way, keep tight hold of them as they’re worth their weight in gold. I always knew I had people like this in my life, but it’s been proven to me this last couple of weeks and I feel very, very lucky to have them.