Having spent just 5 of the last 90hrs vertical and the rest either asleep or horizontally making cold bustin drug demands, I’ve woken today to the realisation that this whole getting ill thing really isn’t for me.
It isn’t the feeling desperate, unwashed and depleted, nor the body bashing symptoms of a worse than average cold. It isn’t the guilt of not answering calls, texts, tweets, DMs, emails, voicemails or Facebook messages, nor the weak shame of cancelling appointments, jobs or speaking engagements.
It isn’t even the horror (for the actively self-employed woman) of not having *done* anything positive, proactive or productive for days on end, though this alone is enough to create a desire to work 20hrs a day for the next fortnight just to make up for the lost time.
Nope, as bad as all that is, it’s not the worst that can happen when a self confessed control freak is laid up.
The worst thing is that after just three days, DECISIONS have ALREADY been made without me and some of these decisions have TURNED OUT OK. An oven is being fixed. A floor has been sanded. A plumber has been booked.
This just really will not do. Does he not know that our world cannot turn without me?! Everything is supposed to grind to a halt & collapse without my guidance and expertise FFS. A Queendom can’t run without its Queen!!!
As bad as I feel, I have to get up and regain the reins of power before *people* (read Mr M) start to think that important decisions can be made without me….
Like which timber stain to use on the newly sanded floor *panic*
Like where to position the BoxWorks lights or what to defrost for Wednesday’s tea *Panic*
Like which colourway and many rolls of wallpaper to order or which chequebook to pay the window cleaner with *PANIC*
OMG, what if he’s already done all those things. And WORSE… what if he’s done them…. CORRECTLY?!
Nope, being ill isn’t allowed for your average female business-running social-media-addicted decision-making control freak. Being ill makes you realise that you’re human and others may just be super….. and *that* is just not an option 😉