iPhone plunged into blackness and bye bye to Channel M

Bit of a panicblank_iphone just now as first the camera froze on my all singin all dancin all videoin new 3Gi, and then the screen went totally blank. Zero zip nada nothing. I’m not known for my technical ability but who needs to be a techy now Google exists?!

Quick search, pressed down the Home and Sleep buttons simultaneously for ten secs and it reset itself. Fabtastic.

I could not do the same for my tv career however :-/

Saw my arse this week over various differences between me and my producer / director, you know when things build up over weeks and weeks, and stay unresolved, then stress from life and business in general blah blah – the result was a mini Si explosion and an I quit email!! I am so not used to working for someone else, and therefore by someone else’s rules and standards (ok – not being in control!).  I am a perfectionist and want things to be the best they can be, otherwise I don’t see the point in doing them. I like it when things I am involved in progress, move forward and get better. I put 110% into whatever I do.  Plus I like to have fun, life’s far too short not to, and I like to feel valued.

I have absolutely loved presenting, loved meeting all the different and interesting people, and looking at the different apartments and houses. Being given the opportunity to learn new skills has been amazing, a real learning curve, and I totally appreciate it. And of course, it’s a little bit glam, being the presenter and having the camera pointed at you, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.

But I can’t just go along for the ride anymore when the ride isn’t exciting, fun, and interesting. I don’t want to have to fight for what I think I’m worth, or be doing something which feels like it just isn’t going anywhere. What’s the bloody point, standing still is like going backwards!! I said my piece and put my case forward and suggested more enthusiasm in the future, and could we make it a bit more fun, but these were not well received and the boss decided I’d be better off in future not doing the whole show, but just doing bits and pieces from now on, and sending my ideas on editorials in. Well, no thanks, if you want me and all my expertise, you have the whole package, not just the best bits at the cheapest rate.

This credit crunch, it’s made people, and me, reassess and question what they are doing, and wonder whether they are maximising their time and getting the best out of life. If this isn’t the perfect time to look at yourself and wonder what the hell you are doing, and make changes if it isn’t right, when is?!  It’s a time to be honest and brave and fearless and value yourself, and bollocks to those who think you’re worth less than you feel you are.

So onwards and upwards, and hello to something new. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, said Scarlet O’Astley, gazing into the distance!! It won’t bring much tonight that’s for sure, just a glass of Rose and Torchwood 5 – go the 456.

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